Saturday's reading reminds me of the ways I find myself lukewarm to the Gospel. Sometimes I'm so confounded by those who seem opposed to Chirst's message, I fail to partcipate fully in it the way I should. Sometimes I find myself affirming the idea of the way of Christ without really taking on any of the burdens of it. Keeping it real? Some of that stuff Christ talked about: I'm like...really? At other times, I'm so intent on supporting others in their opportunties to develop their spirituality more fully, that I neglect to find my own authentic place in the community of faith.
I suppose, like Nicodemus(p.124), it's as much about my fear of giving up my control of my standing and my own destiny as it is about my spates of unbelief or my general laziness.
Oh, I'm lazy. My theology's probably pretty weak, too.
But it's the vulnerability and the humiliation that growing toward the cross requires that keeps me so far from it.