I can't do it.
I can't do it because it feels wrong.
It feels wrong because it's as if I'm playing God. And God, desperate for my attention and affection, will work with my schedule.
Instead I want to practice the presence of God among the clutter and clatter of everyday life. Not as a recurring event on my calendar. And not as a periodic retreat.
I want to be inconvenienced by God. That keeps me in my place. And let's God be God.
I want a real relationship. One that involves hanging out and talking and listening and playing and doing. One that isn't uncomfortable in silence. One that is honest. One that is a million little things throughout the day.
As I'm inconvenienced each day with my cravings and Lenten commitments, I am reminded of my Lord's eternal presence. I am reminded that my life is about Him, not me.
Prayer is a million little conversations with and without words. Not a single moment in my day.
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