Saturday, March 7, 2009
Difficult Prayers
Praying for someone who has wronged me or has wronged someone I love is a very difficult prayer. When I have done this, I have done it to rid myself of a resentment. Resentments destroy peace of mind and make me a less of a good person. I learned a way to deal with resentments many years ago that I will share here. This is not easy to do, but it does facilitate healing. When that resentment is solidly in place and won't go away with less drastic measures, I have had to pray for all the good things I would want for myself for the person towards whom I have the resentment, listing them out, for 14 consecutive days. If I miss a day, I must start over until I have done it for 14 consecutive days. A bit compulsive, yes, but doing it this way causes me to really think about doing it so I don't have to start over. The first few days are the hardest. At the end of the two weeks of doing this, there is usually some relief from the resentment - my resentment may still be there, but it is lessened. Over time after that, the person I prayed for takes a different space in my heart. This came right from Jesus telling us to pray for our enemies. The 14 days part is optional I suppose, but seems to be necessary for the really powerful resentments in my case anyway, so I thought I would pass it on if you haven't heard of it before. Difficult prayers.
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Chip,
ReplyDeletePerhaps I'm a bit compulsive, too, but repetition is an important part of my prayers. I pray the same Psalm and often a hymn every day for a week, and there are particular prayers that I use almost every day (I've put one of these below). It seems that around the 3rd or 4th day I say the prayer or Psalm I begin to really pray the prayer and read the words in a deep way. But more importantly, somehow it seems to sink deeper into me, becoming part of me. Somehow in the repetition I open myself for God's change.
Thanks for sharing this way of making a space where God can change our hearts and hopefully also our relationships.
Cyndi
Prayer for Mission from the Book of Common Prayer (one of my favorites):
Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for the honor of your Name. Amen.
Forgiveness and loving my enemies are so tied together for me.
ReplyDeleteI try to remind myself that God commands only things which are good for me. It does me more good to forgive than it does those to whom I offer forgiveness. In Matthew 18, the master said to his servant….. “Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” And, the master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, saying, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." I can’t help but think that my own torture can be the damage I can do to myself when failing to let go of the hurt and forgive the person(s).
So, loving my enemies seems the same. And praying for my enemies in the past has always been rewarding for me. In the beginning, I often said, “God, I am praying for her because you commanded, though you know I don’t feel it in my heart just yet.”
Perhaps those for whom I prayed also benefitted, too. Regardless, I know I did and will continue to have rewards through peace of mind. Currently, I would be challenged to remember why I even felt the need to forgive him or her, or considered someone to be an enemy. Thank you God, for that faithfulness to me..