Thursday, March 12, 2009

The In-Between Place

Ken Cross said something in one of his sermons that has had a impact on my journey as a follower of Christ. He said that Jesus "disturbs" us. Being a Christian, if anything for me, means being disturb. I think of being disturbed as both a good thing and an uncomfortable thing.

This morning I am disturbed in a good way and an uncomfortable way.

Somebody has finally explained to me what it means to be "in this world but not of this world." Thank you Henri Nouwen. That is the good disturbed.

Now for the uncomfortable. Somehow I have to find this in-between place where God exist the loudest. Thank you Henri Nouwen. One more thing for me to do. Add it to the list, love your enemy, both external and internal, live in tension, choose life, descend into the absence, do not babble in prayer, live without competition, and so on and so on... Man this is hard.

Hard, and yet I am drawn to it like "a moth to a flame" (thanks Jerry)... You know what? I think I just came to understand what it means to live with the mystery of God. I am drawn into this relationship because something internally is pulling me. When I get quite, I cannot help but be drawn into this wrestling, into this way... see there it is again "the way." OK now I am really excited. And you know what? I am going to stop writing now and re-sit (I know that is not a word) in that in-between place and see what I hear from God. I am sure I will be disturbed.

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