In solitude

In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness.

In solitude…My intention is to listen to You. Yet, I replay yesterday’s hallway conversation. Was I too hurried? I told her if she needs me to call. Did she know that was earnest, or does she think it merely polite?

Gently I tell myself no, don’t think of this. This conversation is Yours. Abba, I turn to you.

In solitude…I remember the appointment later today. What does he want? I’m sure he wants me to do something. Do I have time for a new project? What if I need to say no, will I know what to say?

Gently I say no, not this either. This time is Yours. Abba, I turn to you.

In solitude…I wonder whether we could live on my salary alone. My thoughts skitter over to the mortgage, cutting out restaurants, could we remove the house phone and use only cell phones?

These worries, they are Yours. Abba, I turn to you.

In solitude…I wonder if I can squeeze in a peek at the match. Does Mark know that I wish I could be there to watch him and cheer on the team?

This thought is Yours. Abba, I turn to you.

In solitude… the clock ticks, the puppy snuffles.

These too are Yours. Abba, I turn to you.

In solitude…I wanted to listen to You, but instead kept thinking. I wanted revelation. This desire, too, I give to you.

In solitude we become aware that our worth is not the same as our usefulness.