I think in today's reflection Nouwen wants me to understand a good host receives good gains and a good guest has his/her needs meet. He called this a relationship of "unity." I can buy that. Most people I welcome in my home provide me with fellowship that is fulfilling, life giving and most of the time, fun. I think my guests receive something positive as well- full belly, interesting conversation and I hope a deeper connection to me and my family. I generally feel "unified" after such occasion.
Nouwen then goes and asked me about inviting people I don't know, strangers. I imagine not the kind that are friends of friends. Someone truly unknown. I hesitate with that a bit, but I could see myself opening up my home to someone who needs it. I think about the survivors of Hurricane Katrina. Could of done that but I didn't. And certainly only temporary if did. Then he suggests that we, I, should think about inviting enemies into my home. Has anyone out there ever done that?
Has anyone really ever opened their door and said to a known enemy, come on in "mi casa, su casa." Not me, I don't even open my door for Jehovah Witnesses, well that is not true. One day I did, had a 30 minute conversation trying to find similarities in the foundations of our belief systems. Found a few, disagreed on most and then we parted ways with neither of us changing our positions. But overall, an entertaining 30 minutes.
So what does it look like to invite my enemy into my home to honor this "important virtue" of biblical hospitality. What if I find myself in the presence of my enemy? What do I do?
Really, what do I do?... Well, as I reflect for a moment, there is something that is kind of coming to me. I think I could try to have some kind of relationship, start slowly, carefully. I guess I could say "hello." Do you think a "hello" could eventually bring "new life" to me and my enemy? Maybe worth a try. Now all I have to do is find an enemy. Shouldn't be to hard. Then maybe I could throw a party for my friends and enemies. Wanna come?
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First, a confession. I have been thinking about your posting all day, and only now had the opportunity to read the Nouwen book selection. So what I write here reflects more on your posting than Nouwen's description of hospitality.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I've also been thinking about Dr. Matthews' comment Sunday morning that when we read the Psalms it is helpful to translate enemies as being within. All day I have been thinking about your question, could saying hello to an enemy within lead to new life?
What would it mean to welcome enemies within? How could I be generous to my anger and insecurities? For me, I think generosity would mean a little more acceptance than I am willing to give. To recognize a hurt, an anger, a fear as part of who I am. Rather than trying to make it go away, or bury these feelings, but to think about how they are part of who I am.
Nouwen has said several times, including today, that we have a hard time letting God love us. He’s hinted at a need for unity—that a unity drawn out of love for God leads us to true love of neighbor rather than fracture commitments competing for our attention. These many selves—the insecure self desiring attention, the fearful self desiring safety, the angry self resentful at the unfairness of life—what if somehow, through recognizing each as part of a person God loves—they become integrated into the one person, the one true self we are created and called to become.
What if I threw a party and only one person came?
Excately Cindy, after I posted this blog God didn't let me go. I wasn't finished. I started thinking about enemies within as well. It was interesting for me that I did not think about it internally, but externally. Interesting because that is what I do most of days. I listen to peoples's stories of their enemies from within. Many times therapy becomes retelling the story and how to befriend the enemy within. Saying hello to that part can be the most courageous and most scarey and most virutous thing we do for ourselves. And you talk about creating unity. OMG! When it happens you know that God does exist. It then becomes clear that befriending the enemy within is an important biblical virtue, central to our unity with ourself and our unity with God. Thanks for your words Cindy.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I pray with someone, something like this happens. For example, I'll visit someone in the hospital, and they'll share their fears and hopes. When we pray, I express these, and in the words and the sharing in prayer, I implicitly say that God (and I) know this part of you, love this part of you, and desire the best for this part of you. There's a sense of unity with the person that I pray for, and I think some of that is a sense of unity within for both of us.
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